Tuesday, August 12, 2025

I'm Not Who I Used to Be: Essay


I’m Not Who I Used to Be

Alice in the “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll said, “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.”  The truth is that this book changed me. Since the time I started the book, and months later, I am not who I used to be and that is a beautiful thing. My morning coffee and poetry workshops became my rituals and formation of morning energy and creativity sparks reflecting on my life.

My own reflections on life, my thoughts and emotions helped me understand that I cannot go back to the time ‘when I knew a thing or few.’ I am not who I used to be. I learned about myself, my abilities, and my ‘wants and don’ts.’ Life taught me a lesson of making it through the day, and lessons are teaching to study and learn. Each lesson lifted me up and showed consistency, discipline, and willingness to move on. All above helped me. My life lessons paid off.

Surrounded by nature and time, morning coffee conventions resonated with both my heart and soul. The transitions from dark nights to daylight gave comfort of daydreams and fantasy of post-realistic expectations. It is not my job to do it all. Do what you can and may. What I mean is choosing the priorities.

Since the time I started to write this book, I noticed the personal change. The value is in a brief escape from the reality of grief and sorrow with a gift of hope. I have to confess that I never took the gift of hope lightly. Sometimes, brain power conquers despair and amid sorrow and let light after darkness show the way in the valleys of life.

One step of a time, little-by-little, the time handle of the clock only moves frontward.

Tomshinsky@2025

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