I’m Not Who
I Used to Be
Alice in the “Alice in Wonderland” by Lewis
Carroll said, “I can’t go back to yesterday because I was a different person
then.” The truth is that this book changed
me. Since the time I started the book, and months later, I am not who I used to
be and that is a beautiful thing. My morning coffee and poetry workshops became
my rituals and formation of morning energy and creativity sparks reflecting on
my life.
My own reflections on life, my thoughts and
emotions helped me understand that I cannot go back to the time ‘when I knew a
thing or few.’ I am not who I used to be. I learned about myself, my abilities,
and my ‘wants and don’ts.’ Life taught me a lesson of making it through the
day, and lessons are teaching to study and learn. Each lesson lifted me up and showed
consistency, discipline, and willingness to move on. All above helped me. My life
lessons paid off.
Surrounded by nature and time, morning coffee conventions resonated with both my heart and soul. The transitions from dark nights to daylight gave comfort of daydreams and fantasy of post-realistic expectations. It is not my job to do it all. Do what you can and may. What I mean is choosing the priorities.
Since the time I started to write this book,
I noticed the personal change. The value is in a brief escape from the reality
of grief and sorrow with a gift of hope. I have to confess that I never took
the gift of hope lightly. Sometimes, brain power conquers despair and amid
sorrow and let light after darkness show the way in the valleys of life.
One step of a time, little-by-little, the
time handle of the clock only moves frontward.
Tomshinsky@2025
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